THINGS I NEVER GOT TO MENTION

a collection of afterthoughts.

Photo by Evie S. on Unsplash

I never liked the way

you looked at me.

Like I was a sight to behold,

someone to be told,

“you’re beautiful

the way you are:

underneath me.”

I never liked being

at your every beck and call,

but whenever I needed you,

you were nowhere to be found.

nowhere at all.

I never liked being

the only one you’d call

in the middle of night,

just so you could talk

about someone else.

the very one I warned you about.

I never liked how

I could open my mouth

and let words flow out,

but you wouldn’t hear

a single word or sound.

not a single one of my many I love you’s.

I never liked how

you seemed happier

without me in your life.

I grew accustomed

to life without you,

but it took time

and years off my life.

whereas it only took you a single night.

I never liked not knowing

if you ever miss me.

if you ever wake up

in the middle of the night

and reach for your phone

to call me, while she

is sound asleep

beside you.

I’d like that.

to wake up at three a.m.

to your name on my caller ID.

for my lover to wake up beside me

and ask,

“who is that?”

to roll my eyes,

send you to voicemail,

kiss him goodnight,

and say,

nobody.

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